I had a conversation with someone new recently and I was distracted by
the feeling of self awareness. An awareness of being able to relate with such
that it was so disturbing, but at the same time, eye opening. It had me
thinking. It had me trying to understand my actions, and later on, as I studied more about it, I got a clearer perception of why I do what I
do.
There are some states who take elections more seriously than others.
Some people who put their lives on the line for a “meager” amount of money. Now,
I can’t say I have been ignorant of this fact, but I will say I have, based on
how deeper than I thought this fact really was.
Students are used as scapegoats, or no, not scapegoats, lambs! Lambs
that are led by their evil shepherd to slaughter without care or remorse. These students are given the tools to campaign or whatever, for the
aspiring governors. When I heard ‘tools’ my mind honestly went on, cash,
flyers, and any other campaign material you could think of, so imagine my surprise
when he said those tools were guns.
So what? They send these students out to kill, that they end up killing
themselves, for how much? And that’s the end. Nothing else happens after that.
It begs the question, What?
What are we doing with our lives? What is our mentality about life? How important do we know we are in
this world, that we settle, and keep settling.
It’s not just about killing yourself in the physical, we die slowly within, while drowning in our own
painful thoughts, and why’s that? We are so insecure, that's what.
The choices we make as adults usually are a reflection of the morals,
values, and principles we were raised on as children.
How do you see yourself now? How much credit do you give you? That you settle
for a lot less because you feel you can’t get any better than this, and sometimes it’s
worse, you feel you shouldn’t. You kill yourself slowly with these hurtful and
negative thoughts that make you less of who you really are.
I have my doubts, no doubt. I have my insecurities. Yours may not even
be as strong as mine, but now, I am aware of my insecurities, I am aware that
the insecurities I have is because of my low compassion of self which doesn't give me that much confidence. I know I am
not perfect, but my self-esteem secretly wants me to be, and I am aware of
that.
Having a good sense of self esteem is awesome. It means you are confident
in your own worth and abilities. It means you have self respect, but self-esteem
increases your insecurities, that’s why it’s safer to have self compassion first,
because with self compassion comes kindness. Self esteem still focuses on
evaluation and performance. It is a judgement of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self compassion encourages an attitude of kindness
and patience. Self esteem can increase our levels of insecurity, where self-compassion
asks us to slow down and assign ourselves value for simply being human.
Insecurities can leave us feeling rejected and unworthy, and self
hating thoughts encourage us to engage in self destructive behaviors. If you
have a sense of where your insecurities come from and the influence it has on your
life, you can begin to challenge it.
With change comes anxiety, no doubt. These defenses and inner critic
have been with you your whole life, so they won’t be easy to challenge. Your insecurities
aren’t likely to vanish overnight, but they will eventually, slowly, through
perseverance. They will start to weaken.
Once you realize our own strength and importance, once you see the ways you’ve been hurt and can feel for yourself on a deep level, you can actually
start to break free of the chains that hold you back. You can shed the
insecurities of your past and become the person you want to be. You can be confident, and love yourself the way you should. You would see clearly, your worth.
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